let things lie

Posted in: Painting, Spirit

I read this article and it made me cry (thanks for that Gary Peters)

I had spent the entire day phaffing around not doing much butbeing busy the whole day; paying bills, catching up on emails, facebook, fillingthe bird feeders, pulling weeds, many cups of tea... you get the picture.

Mainly I have spent the day avoiding the studio. The fun has gone out of it. I am sick of it, sick of battling against it. I am sick of trying to figure it out and the ever-present feeling that somehow I have to come up with a way that all this making will generate an income, (and not just any old income – but one at least equal to that which I used to generate in corporate).

All this fretting and anxiety does is choke me, take awaythe joy and leaving me feeling like I want to slash the canvas rather thanpaint it.

The thing is I do I have a calling – I just want to / need tomake stuff. My earliest memories are of making things. And contrary to Peters’article it isn’t always a nice place to be. Having a calling doesn’t mean Iwant it to be that way, doesn’t mean it fits with my idea of how my life shouldbe. The problem is I can mad if I don’t paint – even if that means I have to wear second hand clothes, schmooze gallerists I don’t always relate to and participate in an industry that isn’t renowned for its integrity.

I miss the pure joy and freedom of making when I wasn’t trying to make it be my living - when I just used to ‘muck around’ with it.  

Maybe I need to do like the author of this article did andjust pack it in for a bit – let it lie and in the process get back to just making for  the fun of it.

Comments (0) RSS comment feed

Post Rating


There are currently no comments, be the first to post one.

Post Comment

Name (required)

Email (required)

Enter the code shown above: